| Why the need? |
[Jan. 23rd, 2008|10:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sweeney Todd - Epiphany | ] |
Out of the many questions I could (and do) ask myself, one that has come up has to do with my seemingly endless need for a boyfriend. Though granted my history with men isn’t that good and this need could just be giving it another go and not giving up even with past bad experiences. But as I think of my life, past and possible future, I find that I have no room for boyfriends or even casual dating. To add to this I find that even my sexual needs have subsided to such a degree, those moments of horniness are few and far between. At the end of the day, I doubt that this decision well make little unique changes in my life So here is to being single and hoping to enjoy it!! |
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| Being honest with myself...and others |
[Jan. 5th, 2008|03:52 am] |
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This is a letter that I sent someone. It is the generalized idea of my feeling but carries the same weight. I have my limits and these limits should never be explored. Of course names have been removed.
Before there is any confusion, I would like to make one thing perfectly clear. I have no desire to be associated with you in any form. To drop this statement on you without reason would be highly rude of me, so to clarify it is simple. Over the years you have hurt me in many ways and do not wish continued communication between us. I ask simply that you don’t talk to, look at, or make any attempt to acknowledge that we have ever known one another. If you wish to talk about these matters, I have not as yet decided if I would really want to. But I would suggest that the use of anything other then a face to face or at lest a phone call would be best (at this point I have a very low tolerance for your usual IMs) I can’t honestly say, have a good life, because of my feeling toward you are not the best, but. Have a happy life Sincerely Me |
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| Friendship? |
[Aug. 19th, 2007|10:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  numb | ] |
When discussing the nature of friendship, we most consider the nature of communication. Friendship implies that there is a two way manner of communication between individuals, level of openness with each other etc. The amount and level of these things determine the kind of relationship (friendship in this case) people have with one another. If they are limited or close to nonexistent then people merely are acquaintance and are only passers by in each others lives. With all this said, what is the proper course of action when real friendships degrades in some manner? The answer that I have concluded is simple, a cutting out by one or both individuals must take place. To this end I feel that I should start the process and remove some old friends form my life. Josh and Luke (I do abhor doing this in such a public forum but I see no other choice that I prefer better to this one), while I truly do not want to begin the end of things between us. I feel that the complete and total lack of effort on your parts respectively, leads me to decide that it would be more self-delusion on my part by even trying to call you both my friends. Etiquette dictates that in public social settings that I treat you both with respect as human beings but beyond polite greetings, neither of you shall get nothing more from me. I wish you the best of luck in life |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2007|01:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
its been so long since I've posted here that I don't really know what to start with...but really I think it comes down to one thing. If your close to someone, be open and honest wih them, because if your not...you will know the true meaning of hatred. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 29th, 2006|11:36 am] |
I can solve the worlds problems, but I can't solve myown. |
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| tapped on the shoulder |
[Apr. 23rd, 2006|04:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
Life just seems to not want me to be contented with the way everything is.
for a time the possibilities seemed endless and wonderful, I had left behind the feeling of the past. Now it feels like someone has tapped me on the shoulder and mentioned that I had forgotten something.
I am alone and I keep thinking of you, and I don't know way.
If I can have you again I would be happy, for whatever that is worth. |
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| nothing |
[Apr. 14th, 2006|11:07 pm] |
The night is bright with lightning, thunder is on the wind.
I have nothing but the pen in my hand and no words to write.
Someone start talking, I need the sound in my ear. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2006|11:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
I guess I should post something for this reached “v-day” makes me sick thinking about it. (If you couldn’t tell I’m still single). Well it’s not all bad I suppose, celebrated my friend Josh’s birth day, that was all kinds of fun, got a call from my good and great fag hag. She seemed to know that I could give her a good laugh on this horrid day (no I’m not bitter).
Well beyond now lonely life is, I really don’t know what to put.
Life is a mixture of gloriously happy moments with friends and moments of darkest misery in my room.
if anyone knows a gute single guy that i could date feel free and send him my way.
well I'm off into the sweet darkness |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|09:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
<td align="center">Kindness
Kindness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you - the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner, and have them say anything to you. You are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td> |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|06:47 pm] |
You are a pure evil killer. Heartless, cold. you
kill for revenge, and are most likely almost
emotionless. you have experiences alot of pain
in your life, and honestly dont care anymore. I
am the same way so I am not going to tell you
to try and open up, because I too know what It
is like to be betrayed.
What kind of Killer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|06:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  content | ] |
You are an Assassin...You do your job at night or
in a non-Publuic place, you kill quick and
painless. When your loved one dies, you dont
care...you have no feelings.
What kind of Killer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|12:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blank | ] |
Tell me please...why does my mind think of you? In the darkness of my sorrow, my mind reaches out to you, like a starving man reaches for food.
What draws the moth to the flame…me to you? If I should reach for you, will the starving man be denied, the moth burned? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|03:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
Now as the day ends there is nothing left but to cry silently in that good night |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 9th, 2005|12:44 am] |
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Answer me this. what is a perfect moment? |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 24th, 2005|04:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| Your Seduction Style: Au Natural | 
You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 21st, 2005|01:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blank | ] |
Your beauty lies in your despair.
The sad girl walks by herself on a rainy day.
How graceful she moves. Her pain has made her
beautiful. Others say to themselves as you
walk by. How can they not see that you are
beautiful? Because you are.
Your motive:
To feel happiness just once before you die.
Your quote:
Stranger, hold me for a while.
Your colors:
Deep red and black.
Your song:
Fields of Innocence by Evanescence
"Where has my heart gone? I want to go back
to beliving in everything."
Please rate and message me.
Where do You Find Your Beauty? (Gorgeous Pictures and Touching Results)
brought to you by Quizilla
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 9th, 2005|12:20 am] |
 | You scored as Slytherin. You have been sorted into Slytherin. Well, you won't have any problems in Potions class. You're ambitious, power-hungry even, and you don't like things getting in your way.
Slytherin | | 75% | Gryffindor | | 25% | Ravenclaw | | 25% | Hufflepuff | | 20% | </td>
The Hogwarts Sorting Hat!
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|08:46 pm] |
And so the time comes when I have the urge to write. This is not a good sign, for when such come upon me it means that thing are not going vary well, or is vary bad.
But first a bit of a recap I think. Well there really isn’t much to say, school started and is now more then have way through, I have managed to keep a boy friend for more then seven week (or I should say that he hasn’t yet want to end it). I do have my own apartment; I am living with two housemates we seem to get along well.
Now for what this post is about. My emotional status at this point is below expected/desired standards, while I cannot really put this state into words I can however into something like what fallows.
There is a worse fate then the fiery torment of the burning hell, a darker places for those hom have a black soul. This hell I speak of is a cold land, empty of hope and love.
There you are alone, no one to love you, no God to pray to. It is in this place I call my home. Walking without purpose forever cold, nether the hand of human or Deity can worm my heart. All I have when I go to bed is the screams of the dammed ringing in my ear.
That about sums it all up, there are a few more thing I may want post but I think that will do for now.
later |
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